Is People Pleasing Stopping You From Living Your Ideal Life?
We are all guilty of people pleasing in some form or another however what may be surprising is how many of us are pleasing people we don’t even particular like or respect. I have witnessed people bending over backwards to try and convince others that they are worthy of their attention but at the end of the day why do we care?
I remember there was a stage in my life when I have tried to please aquaintances to gain some mythical approval from people who just weren’t nice or worthy of my attention. Then one day I stopped, I had that ahha moment. I realised I had no desire to waste my time getting approval from someone I would never want to be like. Perhaps we fear being rejected by those who offer the most condemnation to others, those that can declare us to not be ‘normal’. However what we may need to remind ourselves of is that the most successful people are not only unique, they also completely embrace their uniqueness and great things always come into their lives.
The evidence would suggest that our desire to gain approval comes from our need to belong and fit in, even at the consequence of our true selves. Our whole society convinces us that we must fit in or suffer the consequences. We all learn this early on at school due to the suffering one experiences when they are different.
Giving in to the urge to fit in only takes us further away from what I like to refer as our ‘Soul Print’, the basic blue print of what makes us unique and what unique path is ours and ours alone to make our heart sing. By choosing to just fit in, we take ourselves away from who we truly are and our happiness.
Have you ever been in a group where you know you must act a certain way or talk a certain way to be accepted even though you just don’t feel like these people are ‘your people’? Somewhere along the line, you convinced yourself that you need their respect and approval and by doing so you have merged into a new person, someone different to your true you. Maybe someone you don’t even recognise or enjoy anymore.
When I first started my journey in recreating my life, a friend was interested in doing some of the same things I was doing. She told me however that she won’t be able to because she would end up ‘different’ like me. It was kind of weird hearing that however on the flip side it was an eye opener to know that someone would choose to keep themselves small so they didn’t rock the boat and appear ‘ not normal’ to people who weren’t striving for more themselves. Why is it that we don’t embrace being different and use it to our advantage?
All I know is that by choosing to be me, a little different with unique opinions and ideas, I have attracted lots of new people, conversations and opportunities into my life that are far more enriching than the ‘normal things’ I was attracting when I was worried about what people thought. Life is far more interesting now as I am creating my world around my interests.
Isn’t it time we all started living our lives according to our dreams, desires and interests?
If you believe so then as of today, go out and be YOU and do it well!
Go shine your light on the world. Stop people pleasing and just be YOU and only YOU, so that your whole world opens up and greets you and invites you into a fun and interesting era.